


The (NOT) Epilogue

by Fat_the_cat



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: AU what AU idk, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Mary Morstan, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Pining, Short One Shot, Unrequited Love, a headcanon of mine being explored, song fic sorta
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 08:40:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17619119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fat_the_cat/pseuds/Fat_the_cat
Summary: "You're screaming and cursing and angry and hurting me. And then smiling and crying apologizing."





	The (NOT) Epilogue

**Author's Note:**

> idk I'm new to this fandom and tired very tired

He met _him_ in Bart's.

He had gone to the appointment with no intention of following up, he already knew it wasn't good. Deciding to see if Molly had anything of interest in the morgue he made his way there. She didn't today, and as he made his way out he almost didn't notice _him_ , _he_ seemed so average, dull, _boring_. But oh how delightfully wrong he was, because on closer inspection _he_ was so much more than average, anything but dull, exciting! He introduced him self by asking 'Afghanistan or Iraq?". This leads to  a conversation which causes him to do something impulsive, He invites _him_ to look at 221B Baker Street. Sometime while looking at the flat a case pops up, and for some reason he was lucky enough that _he_ agreed to come along, _they_ investigating the (thankfully first of many)  crime seen _together_. Amazingly by the end of the night _he_ shot and killed a man for him (an admittedly bad man). Before long they are working together, solving crimes together, it's _them_ against the world. Yes they have highs and lows, they ride the highs _together_ (the rush of adrenaline when running hand in hand through London at night, solving a tough case, and getting dinner after) and work through the lows (fight over the chaos of the flat, the anger over experiments of all kinds, panic attacks, and _a bit not good_ ) _together_. And during all of that he somehow fell for _him_ , the one person he can't have,his best and only friend. He's not sure when this happened, but he fell for _him_ , brilliant, kind, beautiful, wonderful _him_. And in a pathetic way he has him. Oh Sure _he_ has a string of girlfriends (they always leave in the end), and no mater how much his damned heart wishes _he_ doesn't love him like that, but _he_ always has time for him, they are best friends, It's Sherlock Holmes and John Watson _together_ against the world . Some months after the long deleted appointment Mycroft lets him self in while John is out. One look at his brother is enough to know what this little meeting is about,he used his 'minor' position in the British government to see the test results from the appointment, and they are not good. They sat in silence for a few moments before Mycroft spoke "It was caught early enough that if you had started a treatment it probably wouldn't have caused to much damage."  He replied with "Well isn't that boring." They don't look at etch other for what feels like a long time, but they talk for the first time in a long time. By the time Mycroft leaves they had come to an agreement, he will seek treatment in one month, and Mycroft wont tell anyone, or try and mother hen him. His one month of freedom is grand, two locked room murders, a serial arsonist, and of course John. They run all over London at odd hours, eat take away, bicker almost affectionately. When he finally starts treatment he struggles to keep it a secret, Lestrade choses the day of his second round of treatment to put his detective skills to use. He doesn't bother trying to lie, after an hour of awkward questions and tense conversation Greg leaves with the promise not to bring it up and to stop by with some cold cases sometime during the week. Soon it feels like everyone in his life but John finds out about his poor health, Molly catches him going to a treatment, and Mrs.Hudson finds him throwing up in the living room, John is the only one who hasn't found out but he's worried about him and suspicious that something is wrong. But they still investigate crimes, chase leads and criminals, and eat out together. so despite everything for a time it's great, but then things take a turn, things escalated, and soon people he cared about were in danger. So he falls, for a moment it felt like flying.

 

 

In a nightmare, I am falling from the ceiling into bed beside you  
You're asleep, I'm screaming, shoving you to try to wake you up  
And like before, you've got no interest in the life you live when you're awake  
Your dreams still follow story lines, like fictions you would make

So I lie down against your back, until we're both back in the hospital  
But now it's not a cancer ward, we're sleeping in the morgue  
Men and women in blue and white, they are singing all around you  
With heavy shovels holding earth, you're being buried to you neck  
In that hospital bed, being buried quite alive now  
I'm trying to dig you out but all you want is to be buried there together

 

In the ten months he's gone he starts to show sines of just how sick he really is. The two months of torture definitely didn't help, but thinking about John helped, he misses him so much it hurts, but John is safe so it doesn't mater. When he was finally rescued, he is immediately rushed to some sort of intensive care unit where he promptly passes out. He doesn't know how much time has passed since he was last awake, but it must have been a while. He sites there in a bland white room hooked up to all sorts of monitors, he hates every second. A nurse comes to check on him at some point, noticing that he's awake pages the doctor, asks some questions that answers but doesn't really paying any attention to, and then leaves once the doctor arrives. After god knows how long the doctor leaves, but unfortunately Mycroft walks in right after. He refuses to answer any questions about what happened and instead states that everything has been handled. They lapse in to silence for a moment. "John wants to see you." Mycroft finally informs "What?" "He's upset, for good reason, but concerned." "He shouldn't even know I'm alive." "He's smarter than anticipated. He contacted me a few months after your 'Death' and insisted in helping. He's the reason we managed to get you." He what?! I told you to keep him safe! Letting him get involved is the opposite of that!" "He was going to go find you with or with out my help, in this case letting him get involved was the better option. I know you have some form of sentiment for him, despite what I have warned you of regarding it..." "Yes, yes sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side. Your point." "Just be careful brother of mine." Then the conversation shifted to what all had happened after he had been found, how long he was out, and how long he would be needing medical assistance. Finally Mycroft started to depart, on his way out he turned and said "John will be visiting sometime tomorrow." and left. The net day around twelve or so an angry John Watson opened the door. He had figured John would be mad, but the intensity of his furry was jarring, and rather upsetting. John yelled ,cursed, and said the cruelest things  imaginable for a few hours, and then left without even a backwards glance. It had broke his heart. For three days only Lestrade and Mycroft had bothered to stopped by. Then four days after John had tore his heart to shreds, a soft hesitant knocking on the door filled the small room before a meek looking John opens it, he slowly steps in and takes a seat near the corner of the room. "What are you doing here?" "I'm sorry, for the bloody awful things I said. I didn't mean a word of that." "Then why say it?" " Because I was hurt and...damn it I'm shit at talking about these things, but I care about you... a lot, some times it..it scares me. First you pulled that whole suicide stunt, then I find out you left me to go off to god knew where doing dangerous shit. Then I find you captured, being tortured,.. dying. There was so much Sherlock..I..I just...I was scared for you and hurt that you left me...I  shouldn't have said what I said. I'm sorry."

 

 

You're screaming  
And cursing  
And angry  
And hurting me  
And then smiling  
And crying  
Apologizing

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think  
> the song used is Epilogue by The Antlers i highly recommend to check them out.


End file.
